Al Pal and I finally went on our honeymoon to Italy. What follows are actual notes taken on the trip, in actual note form. Enjoy!
Tuesay, May 12th – Venetian Islands
Woke up this morning with a terrible cold. Slept late, because woke up this morning with a terrible cold! (This is another thing I will blame on our hotel.)
My eyes feel like unpeeled hard boiled eggs, my throat feels like cheap carpet and my nose feels like a soggy kitchen towel. So pretty sexy overall.
Seems like a good time to drink one spritz, one red wine while waiting for island boat tour to leave.
Square.
Venetian islands, Murano, Burano, Torcello, all sound like lovely summer desserts. Something layered with berries, maybe? They’re all gorgeous and serene but also covered in children taking field trips which made them less serene. More dog stalking, yay.
Would I live here? Yes. Yes I would.
Most hilarious toddler child on our tour was obsessed with watching bugs. Kept telling his Mom, “They have to be free to go to their homes!” One he was extra hot for flew away and he yelled, “THOSE FUCKING BUGS!” Parents: aghast. Everyone else: in love.
Two spritzes each at lovely, oddly deserted restaurant in Torcello. Felt like shit, but powered through it. MUST DRINK SPRITZES WHILE WE STILL CAN. Also climbed over a very scary bridge that was supposedly built by the devil to steal children.
Alone, but not lonely
Stable as a table
Two Prosecco (me), half liter red wine (Al Pal) at dinner. This was the memorable evening I also accidentally ordered a whole lobster (may want to skip ahead, Mom and Dad).
I didn’t know I’d even done it until the server plunked down a plateful of actual dentist tools next to me.
I said to Al Pal, “What are those?” And he said, “For your lobster?” And I said, “WHAT? I ordered spaghetti with lobster, not with a lobster. I am not culturally prepared for this.”
Then they tied a bib around my neck and Al Pal laughed and laughed and is this even real life? He helped by yelling “POKE IT THERE!” while I spattered food all over my paper bib and a table of cultured old Belgian ladies watched, horrified. This has been another episode of “This is why they hate us.”
Early bedtime for me while Al Pal reads books downstairs with more wine. Poor guy.
Level of Booziness: Don’t want to talk about it.
Gelato
Al Pal: Banana, strawberry
Dena: Banana, vanilla
Sometimes I Fall Down 